Change is a strange constant in our lives. It is an innate tugging that we all feel. By nature, we are creatures of change. At a young age, our parents race to get us to walk the soonest and talk the quickest. We are sent to school to learn and grow. As we age, the world reveals where we excel and constantly reminds us where we lag. Our weaknesses, insecurities and shortcomings always seem to be louder than our strengths.
This noise reminds us that we need to get better. We are compelled to grow. Sometimes this consumes us. The extra pounds weigh on us deeper. We feel more and more enveloped by the job we are stuck in. We believe that there has to be a better way for us to parent.
It’s not that we give up on growth, it’s that we can’t find the fortitude to actually endure the change.
We focus on our failures.
The Constant of Change
Change is paradoxically simple. We want to stop doing one thing and start doing another thing. Or, we want to just start something completely new. The act of change is not earth shattering. I want to start working out more. I want to begin a new business. I want to spend more time with my kids. These are all incredibly easy to start.
We just start. Starting has never been the problem. It’s easy to get the gym membership, buy the new computer or block off the time in your calendar for your kids. This is the fun part.
The need to change will always be identifiable and the happiness that ensues is easy to picture.
The Elusiveness of Change
Change is also unpredictable. Change is sneaky. Change is elusive. Sometimes it takes a life altering event to cause us to change. Sometimes we are just fed up by the same little shortcoming constantly tugging on us.
Often times, it is very clear what we want to change. We usually have a good idea of how to change it. The act of change is what usually eludes us.
If I want to lose weight then I simply need to eat less junk food, eat more healthy food and exercise more. The idea is elemental – eat less, move more. The how is what confounds us.
The act of change is what becomes so challenging. There are so many variables that begin to come into play. We overthink it. We start to see success and we let things slide or we see failure and we give up altogether.
We are always in search of the best and easiest way to get there. There just isn’t a silver bullet. We all struggle with so many different things that it can become overwhelming.
Instead of getting stuck in the mud of the variables, we need to focus on what matters the most – the reason for the change.
The Motivation of Change
There is always a specific reason that sparks the desire to change. Change is the effect to the cause. I have gained weight, therefore, I need to exercise more to lose it. I am unhappy with my current work situation, therefore, I need to start my own business. Too much of my time has been spent away from my kids, therefore, I would like to spend more time with them.
Motivation is the x-factor of change. If the reason is the spark then motivation is the fuel that keeps it burning.
We need to keep our motivation as the foundation of every step of the process. It’s what carries us through the murkiness of change.
The Formula for Change
Your strategy to change what you want to change should be tailored specifically for you. You should be able to determine what works best for you and how to do it. This may take time, it may evolve, you may fail and you may have to restart again and again. Regardless, You have to find what works best for you.
After you figure out your plan, embrace the following formula. It’s simple and it’s the best way to ensure you get over our finish line.
(Desire + Effort) x Motivation
We always focus on progress. We are constantly looking at the scale. We are prepping all our meals. We are scheduling all our workouts. These are all necessary for our success, but they are not the foundation of successful change.
The best way to stay in the game is to follow the formula. Focusing on what motivates you will keep you going. It’s a constant reminder that your desire and efforts are way more important than that donut you are about to eat.
The things that are most important to us in life are what get our attention. When you are constantly reminding yourself that losing weight is vital for your overall health, confidence and quality of life you are more inclined to push through the setbacks.
Success lies in action. We can do nothing without effort. Focusing on your motivation is the best way to sustain your action.
The Hope of Change
The greatest challenge of change is also its most forgiving attribute. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Change takes time.
While the process of growth can be long and arduous, it can also be gracious. Change is not linear. When we slip or meet a lull or fail completely, change is right there to offer us another chance. You rarely get it right the first time and you rarely have to.
Getting better is a lift long process. We will always be learning. Focus on what motivates and push forward with the actions that will get you there.
The New Way to Change
- Find your reason to change
- Find your motivation to change
- Follow the formula and keep it top of mind
- Keep going and give yourself some grace